the people you see in medical school interviews, pt. 2

Not to brag or anything,

 

My pose of humility

but I interviewed at several so-called "top schools" during my application cycle. This was, of course, a good thing. Interviewing in general, at any school whose existence is predicated upon actually graduating doctors (I'm looking at you, pirates of the Caribbean), is a good thing. But "top" schools also tend to give out a good amount of financial aid, and the high research activity in these schools matches my professional interests, exciting me further.

My professional interests

Unfortunately (or fortunately, I guess, depending on your view), interviewing at these places means one can run into the occasional uberpremed. If you've taken an intro to bio class, you've gotten to know the uberpremed. The uberpremed stops at nothing. S/he will ask questions to which s/he knows the answer, just to try to impress the professor, all the while the rest of the class sinks further into the seat while letting out a collective groan. Uberpremed doesn't care. To uberpremed, getting to medical school is the goal, and everything pales in comparison. I've noticed that uberpremeds also share one obsession - they all fucking love the white coat. They idolize it. They want it. They want to wear it everywhere, the way they wear their scrubs to class even though their bullshit clinical volunteering gig doesn't begin until 5 hours after class ends. They need it. It's a tangible, physical trophy, a beacon that shouts to the world, "Hey! I'm better than you!"

the uberpremed conception of the white coat - no there's no way you could just BUY this..

The somewhat ironic bit is that the short white coat, the ones medical students wear, as opposed to the long ones typically worn by physicians who have completed their intern year, indicates to everyone in the hospital that you're a clueless dolt who needs hand-holding. But let us not bother with cumbersome things like humility or a dose of reality. We return then, to our uberpremed friend, whom I encountered on the interview trail at one such top school. Let's call him Jerkoff. Because there's little else to do while twiddling your thumbs, we struck up a conversation

The discussion naturally steered towards a) how awesome Jerkoff was; b) how Jerkoff was a lock for this school; and c) how awesome Jerkoff thought it would be to get that white coat. Oh yes, Jerkoff was fucking stoked about the white coat. Our conversation then turned to transportation, and I brought up how convenient a motorcycle or scooter would be in a city, as compared to a car, which has to be parked. He agreed, and then went a bit further. And that is how, ladies and gentlemen, I've learned from Jerkoff the ultimate wet dream, the amalgamation of all that is cool, the holy grail of awesome in the world of uberpremeds everywhere -